Sometimes, God, I am afraid to be still.
I feel like a target-
Vulnerable and unsure that my surroundings are safe.
My thoughts creep into your goodness,
and block my view of you.
If I keep moving, I feel more powerful.
I am not taken over by loss, worry, or grievances.
The past is awash in blurry colors and the clouds move at a quickened pace.
But when I move at such a velocity, I cannot feel the Earth beneath my feet.
I cannot taste the food you provide;
I cannot feel the presence of your holiness.
Help me to not use busyness as a worldly status symbol.
Teach me not to judge myself against impossible standards of beauty, power, and wealth.
Train me to the pace of your will.
Let me take rest within the passage of time,
And trust that your love is timeless.
As I am by myself,
up before the sun,
I sit quietly, tentatively,
Like a drop of dew on a freshly sprouted leaf.
Teeming with life inside, I am not alone.
I await to be called to a greater purpose.
Expand me in your time, oh God.
Call me to your vision.
Evaporate my ego in the heat of your Sun’s rays.
Allow me to be one with the cloud,
so that I may be a part of the rain that nourishes the soil,
And grow the sprout from a tender, intelligent seed.
And by your grace I will reappear,
in patient readiness,
as a drop of dew,
awaiting your instruction,
teeming with the delights of the Holy Spirit within me.
The Listening Experience: